Dear Diary
by Jedi-And
Summary: this is a spinoff of robo romance, It's when the Medafighters read the bots diaries. it's a bit angsty, and i tried my hardest but it's kind of good. please Read and Review. Neutranurse's Diary is now up!
1. Brass' Diary

Dear Diary...  
  
By Jedi-and  
  
Disclaimer: I own as much as between the two lines - there is only one like I hear you cry, but there is two, but there is so little between them you can't see a space. In short, I own nothing.  
  
Authors note; Hiya. I'm back again, but I know you want me gone but. to all those people. NO! I'M HERE TO STAY! Ah so you have noticed the confidence boost. I had 3 totally random people e-mail me saying how much they like my fics! And I intend to continue! This is only a short fic about Brass's diary this is set around about the time Brass was walking to the beach. It's not totality accurate but I hope you enjoy.  
  
Jedi-and  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Brass? Where are you?" Erika walked downstairs. She heard a small squeak followed by a crash. She started to skip down the stairs faster to see what the trouble was. "Brass? What was that crash?"  
  
"What's the matter Miss Erika?" she looked at her. Brass seemed a little nervous  
  
"Oh there you are brass!" she skipped the rest of the way down the stairs "I want you to robattle someone, just a small friendly match." Brass looked at her incredulously, obviously wondering about who the other Medabot was.  
  
"If you don't mind me asking miss Erika, who is the other Medabot?"  
  
"Why it's Medabee!" Brass' face flushed red as his name was spoken,  
  
"No."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said NO!" Brass had never before doubted her judgement so why did she start now? "What has gotten in to you?"  
  
"I'm sorry, I need to get some fresh air." Brass ran up the stairs and out the house.  
  
"Brass! Wait." she noticed something out the corner of her eye, it was in the side of Brass' chair. "Well, well what is this?" she pulled out the tattered picture of Metabee in a small painted wooden frame. "Oh Brass. is this why?" Brass had run off oblivious that she had left her diary in open view. Erika, although being a reporter, had not seen it yet, but was looking around the rest of Brass' room. She came across a pile of paper where Brass had been drawing. Although she acted mature, she was a child inside and her pictures showed it. It was on a piece of A3 paper and was drawn in crayon. It had a lake, with Brass and Metabee. It was quite well done, though it still had some child like qualities. There where a few more, but mainly of herself and Metabee. By the pictures was a book on how to draw from the local library. It had a bookmark by mechanical drawing and figure drawing using Mechanical techniques. There where also some stories of her and Metabee, falling in love and things, like going to a beautiful beach and telling each other about how much they loved one another. Erika just awed at the fiction. She put them on the desk and looked through her desk. In it were a library card, some newspaper clippings, chores and a set of colouring pencils. She smiled and closed the draw. The next thing that caught her attention was a book with a Gold Medal on the front with a heart in it and in big letters on the front saying 'Brass' Diary... Keep out please!' being a journalist she couldn't resist and opened the book. The writing was scrappy at first done in crayon and in block capitals. Some letters where backwards but it improved, becoming gradually better and better before becoming very neat and almost script like. She noticed it was now done with a black calligraphy pen. She smiled and continued to read. Her face fell on the latest entry.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Dear diary; Today it happened...I figured out what had been happening to me and my heart was destroyed... again I am tormented by the love of others, but this time it was the love of the only thing in this world I truly feel for. Although I do not know these feelings yet, I feel strange around him and I find myself burning up when ever I am near his presence. for what cruel deed have I done to deserve such torment? Nothing... that is my deed and my punishment. Or perhaps it was my generosity or maybe my sheer blindness that made me relinquish my body... the mistake that decimated my heart... in my haste to find her body, to prove to him that I am kind and caring, I had forsaken my soul and my one chance of happiness. All I ever wanted was someone, some body, to look after me and love me. Damn you! Why did you come in to this? I was trapped in the Medawatch, powerless to even cry! And you took him away when I couldn't even fight back! I felt downed in my anguish, like all the pain in the world had been forced in to my medal... I hate it. The pain and misery. What is it about me that turns boys away? Is it because my chest plate is that of a child? Is it because I have a blue hair helmet? What? I will change! I wish I could. but these useless guns that are bound eternally to me, are a painful reminder that I could never amount to anything and there for I could never get any new parts... I herd him! I heard him laugh! With her! He held MY hand and looked in to MY eyes to prove that he loved her through me! She sickens me. The one time, THE ONE TIME, he holds my body's hand; I'm not the one in it. I tried to call out, to say something but I couldn't. I don't understand why. If I could cry I would cry for a century! And still not be done! I HATE YOU! I HATE ME! I HATE LIFE! It is cruel! It chews you up, spits you out and goes back for seconds. I've been used and tormented long enough. I've had my fill of pain but they are not done, forcing me to eat more sorrow, a vore of pain. I am so full of misery I could burst! Even when my heart was broken, even when your heart was broken, you still called out for her. Shouting out things like 'my love'. You tore me apart yet I still am smitten for your affection! I cannot take much more! The countless nights I stayed up, rehearsing our moment of destiny on my own, hoping the next day I could describe how it felt. But it was not our destiny, but MY dream, my fantasy! No matter what I did, said or looked like, you will not change. Even after she left you had not changed one bit! They, the humans are not the one forcing me to eat sheer sorrow, it is you... you... the only object of my wildest dreams are forcing me to swell in depression, soon to explode with negative feelings. I have no one. My Medafighter uses me to do her chores, and her parents treat me as a toy, forcing me to live down here, only coming to the surface to do work. Scrub the floors, cleans my room, do my homework, get the shopping, clean the car, make the dinner, fix the TV, do THIS, do THAT, I'M SICK OF IT!!! They shouldn't have called me Sailor Multi or Brass... they should have called me DAMN CINDERELLA!!! MY LIFE IS WORK AND SPENDING MY FREE TIME IN A BOX!!! I am not free like most Medabots, no... Instead of shutting down next to their friend, my masters put me in to the cupboard and takes my Medal, without MY permission. No one knows what it is like to have no freedom over your own body... any right of though or movement is restricted to housework. I stopped on the way home the other night and I got my hero's autograph. Femjet gave me her signature to join the others I have, such as Warbandit and Sumillidon. She is an icon to all Femmes out there. Brave, courageous, strong and free. All the things I don't have. But when I got home I was shouted at and locked in my box for 2 days. Erika was out on a trip and I had no one to even slightly defend me. I hate it all. I have decided to do a few things tonight. This is my last entry because a diary is a place to store your hopes and dreams... but know... I have none. The things I will do are these: I will burn ALL the drawings I did of Metabee and me. I shall plant a bomb on my rival for my one love. I will return the tings I own and I shall break the TV of Erika's stupid father. And finally... I shall end my life and keep my secrets with in. still believing that he loves me and not her. I shall do these things now. My last words are that Oceana should burn for what she did to me and I love you always Metabee... if only I had the courage to fight or you. Goodbye, my love. Brass XXX  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Erika dropped the book and ran upstairs. "MOM! Where is Brass?!?!?" Erika asked in a panic  
  
"Well... um..." she put the spoon to her lips "I think she went down to the beach..." Erika raced out of the door to find her.  
  
It was getting late and the sun was setting. She was running as fast as she could, hoping that her plan could not be fulfilled.  
  
"Hey Erika. How are things?" she stopped and glared at him,  
  
"Bad! You Medabot has been playing with my Medabot's heart like a drum! She wrote in her diary that she was going to commit suicide! I gotta find her!" Ikky just stared at her dumbfounded.  
  
"Wow... Brass keeps a diary?" was all Ikky could say, "Metabee keeps one too. It's full of stuff about Brass and..." it had suddenly clicked in to his small head of his "BRASS IS GOING TO KILL HERSELF?!?!?" he ran down the street with Erika.  
  
"This is all YOUR fault!" Erika shouted at him as they ran,  
  
"HOW IS IT MY FALT?!?" Ikky yelled at her,  
  
"Well it's your Medabot!"  
  
"It's not just Metabee's fault!"  
  
"Want to prove it?"  
  
"When we get there we are having a robattle!" they both nodded and ran faster.  
  
"...Well Medabee I. I have been thinking for a while about something which is happening to me. and I knew it had something to do with you and. well I."  
  
"So it's official! This is an official submission robattle! You know the rules! ROOBAATTLEEE!!!" Brass and Medabee was broken from there own thoughts and looked around shocked, around them was Icky and Erika, Medawatches poised for a battle. With Mr referee clambering out of the sand, with great difficulty.  
  
"Dude! What are you doing?!" Medabee turned to him and agitated would be an understatement.  
  
"Robattling! What else? Your going down Erika!"  
  
"We will see icky! Go Brass! Fight him! Take his attitude down!" something quite unexpected happened...  
  
"PLEASE. LEAVE. US. ALONE!"  
  
The end  
  
I know this is short but I wrote it just in half an hour. If you want more pages from Brass' diary then just say okay? Take care and keep writing  
  
Jedi-and 


	2. Metabee's Diary

Dear Diary  
  
By Jedi-and  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Brass: give me my caffeine!! *Runs after Jedi-and who has her coke in his hands*  
  
Jedi-and: you know what it does to you!!!  
  
Brass: I don't care!! *Kaori walks out towards the crowd and sighs*  
  
Kaori: he owns nothing... *she walks off again*  
  
Authors note: I was actually encouraged to do this by a fan of mine!  
  
Rikku (FFX): I never knew you had fans!  
  
Jedi-and: Neither did I... but this goes out to Kari Anime queen! Enjoy! But I warn you; it's not as good as the last one. I might do Sumillidon's and Neutranurse's diaries too. I don't know yet.  
  
Jedi-and  
  
============  
  
Part two: Metabee's Diary  
  
============  
  
Metabee was sitting at home. He slumped on to the sofa and grabbed the remote to flip through the channels; 'Meda-Buddy' was about to come on. It was one of the few Medabot Soap opera's around. This week, Konami would tell Asuka how she felt. It gave him a little nagging feeling in the back of his head. He had that feeling every time he was around some Female Medabots. Mostly a feeling of attraction and longing... he wondered for a while. He looked left and right and pulled a little tatty brown book and a pen from under the sofa. He jotted down a few things to a page. He was there for a while, his expression changing ever so slightly with each word. He heard Ikky slam the door  
  
"I'm home!" he called out, Metabee fumbled the book and chucked it under the sofa. He quickly sat back up and continued to flip through the channels. "Oh there you are Metabee. Watching 'commercials' again?" Ikky asked, laughing a little.  
  
"Yep." He replied flatly. He gave out a small metallic sigh as he stopped on one channel.  
  
"What's wrong Metabee?" he leaned on the arm of the sofa,  
  
"Nothing! Why do you keep buggin' me whilst I watch TV? Always with the 'What's wrong Metabee'..." he growled after doing a very convincing impression of Ikky.  
  
"Huh? I don't know what's gotten in to you Metabee! I want you to robattle with Brass not argue with me!" Ikky yelled as the little yellow bot stood up,  
  
"I WON'T FIGHT HER AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAS GOTTEN IN TO ME!!!" he stormed off, leaving Ikky a little stunned. He heard the slam of the door and fell heavily on to the sofa. So heavy he moved it back a few feet.  
  
"Man, stubborn as always... Huh?" he noticed a small tatty book on the floor. He bent down and took a look. It was scrappy and old. But it didn't have a layer of dust. Which meant that it had been used recently. He opened the front and looked at the first page.  
  
'M3TAB33'S DAIRY K33P OUT OR YOU WILL G3T A M3TA-B33 BOPPIN!'  
  
It read. Ikky chuckled at the miss spelling and continued on. There were a lot of entries, each getting neater and neater, going from blue crayon to pencil to pen. The last entry was the script of a teen, a little sloppy in places but generally neat. He read it and his face filled with confusion and a little happiness and also a little worry.  
  
=======================  
  
Dear Bob the Diary!  
  
Hiya Bob, it's that time again. The time to put all my thoughts and feelings in to words... but... I don't think I can without sounding a bit snobbish. But what the heck.  
  
I keep wondering what these feelings are that is going through my mind... my head feels like it is splitting because of these sharp sensations. each running around my mind as if it was a wild horse... unable to halt because of it's aim, it's soul goal. I watch love around me everyday, Ikky wanting Karin and so on and so forth, the shows I watch, love is there... love is there when some one is kissed or even held... I saw Ikky's mom kiss and hug Ikky's dad before he left. I feel crushed... I never have felt this low... I'm at the top of my game! A champion! A world-class athlete! I have it all! And yet... I have nothing... the thing I want is just out of my reach, just that little too far away. It isn't a goal, nor an object, but a person. Just a little too far away to know my feelings. I tried my hand at love before and fail, miserably... I was fooling myself that day, the day I let her body be used. I thought that this voice, this kind voice was the one for me. But I was wrong... I tried so hard to impress her that I found myself impressing the wrong person... the person who I had never seen in her true body. As I stared in to her eyes I found myself drawn to her, but what was I drawn too? The personality? Or the personality the owner of her temporary body? I don't know. Damn it! My mind is a jumble! I can't think straight! Damn her! Her and her good looks and soft tongue! She has forsaken me to an eternity's worth of indecision! I am plagued by the fact I still dream about her! I see the person I wanted in my dreams! And it isn't the same person as I went after that day! I see her everyday, and everyday it becomes harder to say what I truly believe...  
  
"I Love you..."  
  
Three little words... not hard right? Wrong. They are the hardest words ANYONE can say! Other three words can be used, and their difficulty is slightly less to say.  
  
"I want you" or "I need you" or "I Adore you" but none of them have the same impact, as "I love you"  
  
I must be a fool! All this time I look to her for support of hope, not acknowledging the truth, never letting down my impassable barrier of pride and stubbornness for truth and love. I may be a strong Medabot but I have nothing... Oh sure, I can win a trophy or claim a prize but when does a prize kiss you on the cheek when you go out or give you a hug in front of your favourite movie? Never... What am I thinking? It's not like she loves me back, nope... she just follows her Medafighter around like her slave. I am NEVER able to get five minuets alone with her... those humans ALWAYS interrupt us with the "I found a great story!" "And Lets go!"  
  
Even thinking about her sends my stomach in to knots. Her pearl white face and soft hands, her big pink eyes and blue hair only adds to my love for her. I HATE YOU FOOL! YES YOU METABEE! WHY CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?!? I hat myself... all the fuss I made over Oceana... I can't believe I did that... I KNEW I was hurting her, the one I loved... I just knew... and I still carried on... I could see her, filling with pain! I didn't want to but my macho side got the better of me... her aches and pains are ALL MY DOING!! I can't cope... I need to say something... something soon... I feel I'll burst with love if I don't say anything soon. Love? Or perhaps pain... I see myself, waking up in the night and looking to the moon, wondering if I'll ever get a chance to say what I feel. HA! Fat chance... Ikky is only interested in one thing... Robattles... that's what pushed her away... the fact I robattle... that's all I'm good for... 'Metabee, Laser cannon!' or 'Metabee fire Missiles' or 'Metabee do this do that,' AND I THOUGHT I WAS FREE!!! Every time I see her face I wonder how I will say what I want to say... but after I find the courage to ask her, her Medafighter drags her away again. Laughable isn't it? a champion, with out enough guts to tell a person how I feel. Damn! Ikky's back! I'll write later Bob. I just hope I can admit my feelings to Brass before it's too late...  
  
Metabee  
  
==================  
  
Ikky looked stunned at the page. He took a quick jog up the stairs to his room and rummaged around in Metabee's cloak, which was given to him by Rokusho. Nothing... that was odd because ANY of value was kept there. He looked around a bit and looked under his bed. A small wooden box... amazingly he had never noticed it before. It was hidden under some Medaparts. He pulled it out. It had a lock. The question cropped up in his mind weather or not to break it or look for a key. The questioned surfaced weather or not he should invade Metabee's personal space, but if faded when the lid fell off because it had a lock, but wasn't locked. Several things fell to the floor. He picked up a small painted wooden frame. It was a picture. But not any picture, it was one of Brass. He lifted it up and looked at it. There were also shards of paper with poetry on it. Imagine, Metabee writing poetry about Brass of all people. He thought he only liked her as a friend, nothing more. He chuckled as he took the picture downstairs and placed it in his pocket. He HAD to tell Erika about Metabee. He stepped out the door to see the very person he wanted to speak to  
  
"Hey Erika. How are things?" she stopped and glared at him,  
  
"Bad! You Medabot has been playing with my Medabot's heart like a drum! She wrote in her diary that she was going to commit suicide! I gotta find her!" Ikky just stared at her dumbfounded.  
  
"Wow... Brass keeps a diary?" was all Ikky could say, "Metabee keeps one too. It's full of stuff about Brass and..." it had suddenly clicked 


	3. Neutranurse's Diary

Dear Diary  
  
By Jedi-and  
  
Disclaimer: Jedi-and: *He is hiding from Brass, still with her coke in his hands*  
  
Brass: where is he?  
  
Jedi-and: *saying it in a whisper* I own nothing!  
  
Brass: there you are!!!  
  
Jedi-and: O.O  
  
Authors note: this is different from the previous chapters as it's AFTER Neutranurse and Sumillidon fell in love and she was Pregnant with their umpteenth child... or children. VERY Angst in my opinion. I tried VERY hard with this. Please Read and Review. Enjoy  
  
Jedi-and  
  
===============  
  
Neutranurse's Diary  
  
===============  
  
It was a clear summers day at Karen's mansion. It was the weekend so they where outside, enjoying the sun with a lunch on the lawn. Karen was by the house whist Neutranurse was by the pond. She looked out to the pond. She sighed heavily and stared out for a while. A light shock brought her out of her thoughts. It wasn't painful, more ticklish, like a kick. She rested her hand on her stomach. She sighed as she looked down.  
  
"I hate this some times... I just wish they would hurry up and get out of me..." she looked down, her body was wide with having triplets... again. She hated it. Her legs always hurt and her back was in permanent pain. If her ankles could swell they would. Actually, they seemed a little larger than before... or what she could see of them over her stomach. She sighed again, knowing she'd be like this for another week yet. Her diary was next to her. She leafed through it, finishing off the paragraph that she had written earlier. He face became a mix of anger and Depression as she plunged further in to her little gold book. She heard the light footsteps of her Medafighter and struggled to her feet, forcing her self up, stomach first and stood there. She dared not to bow, in case she fell over because of her added weight on the front, or curtsey for fear that her legs would give way. She bowed her head and plastered on a happy expression.  
  
"Good afternoon Nurse."  
  
"Good after noon Karen, and how are we today?" asked the pink bot,  
  
"I'm fine Nurse. I just came down to tell you that Sumillidon is on the phone." Her eyes widened at his name, as her cheeks went rosy. It was not a surprise that she was sent a bit gooey over his name. She nodded and rushed off, or rather waddled off as fast she could. Karen laughed as she watched her Medabot. She sat down where Neutranurse was sitting and looked out to their HUGE pond. She saw a gold book to the side of her.  
  
"Oh, her diary." She picked it up and pressed the digits on the electronic lock, opening it up. Neutranurse writing was like most others, starting off scruffy, ending up neat. She laughed at the poetry about Sumillidon and the numerous ink splodges, getting less and less before no ink splodges where there. She read the last part; it was in a fine script and had no mistakes. Except for a little spelling.  
  
-----------------  
  
Dear Diary  
  
Another day... another pain. As I awoke this morning I ached from the night before. I couldn't even stand I was so big. And it gets worse too! Not ONLY I'm I having triplets, I'm having DMP disorder... yep... Delayed Multiple Pregnancies... do you know what that means? I'll get even bigger. I measured myself today... I'm at least a foot and a half to two foot wide. And all because of Sumillidon. Him and his damn animal instincts! Yes I am swearing and I don't give a damn! Do I sound like I care? I'm a blimp! I saw my picture as one of the largest Medabots in Medabots Monthly. My ankles hurt with every step; I have to rest every few feet because my legs are crippled beyond repair. And all because of that fool! I hate him! I HATE HIM!!! Oh god I love him... I love him so much... it's my fault I'm like this... hold on... my fault? ONE Medabot can't do it... it's a team thing... I try to persuade him to stop before it's to late, but I just get bigger and bigger and bigger. Before long I won't be able to get out of the door. I'm surprised I can do that now! I have not had one descent night sleep. All night, Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick and MORE DAMN KICKING!!! And all with that bastards children!! He doesn't go through pain no! I do! And who has to look after them? ME! And who sits on their ass all day? HIM!!! I'M FEED UP!!  
  
I'm always so hungry. I eat and eat and eat. I do nothing all day except from eating. And what does that Bastard say?  
  
"Shouldn't you stop eating?"  
  
How patronising is that?!? Not "Hiya Hun, can I help at all?" or the words that I actually want to hear "I love you" but no... The obvious way to great your loved one is "Shouldn't you stop eating?"  
  
Bastard...  
  
And my Medafighter is no help either! She FORCES me to eat! If it isn't bad enough that I have to eat all the time I have to eat Karen's food. She is very nice to me but no more spicy octopus balls PLEASE! GOD NO MORE!! I swear I will burst one of these days. I'd probably die because of her Sushi surprise. The surprise being that all the fish was off...  
  
I did think about killing myself last night... but I decided against it... you know why? They wouldn't notice till 3 days after. Even then only one Medabot would turn up. Brass. My only friend in the world. Oceana is more of an airhead then I am, and Peppercat hits me. Yep... Brass would turn up. Karen wouldn't because she'd just get a new model and Sumillidon wouldn't care. Nope. To him I'm just his plaything. His sex toy for when the need arises. Whenever he needs to let off a spark he comes round, sweet talks me and then takes me to bed. Not worrying about the consequences. I sicken myself on how much I enjoy it. But he doesn't care. After 4 months he' s back to use me again. Use me. Like a disposable camera, once you're done you get rid of it. And every time he'll say  
  
"Don't worry, you won't get Pregnant this time." And you know what?  
  
I fall for it.  
  
Yep, I let him take me on this magical ride of lust and love. Finding out the next day that I'm expecting again. What count would this make? 10 children? Or is it 11? I lose count. Then he dispersers for a few months, coming back after to shag me again. I hate it. But I love him so much I fall for his promises. I think my systems are busted. I can't shut the program down. I put it in a locked file so it could not be used but it still seems to work. I don't know what to do. Man, here comes the cravings again, along with my Airhead Medafighter. What does she want now? I don't know. I wish I could end it at times.  
  
Till Next time  
  
Neutranurse.  
  
-----------------  
  
Karen stared at the book, a little shocked. She never though Neutranurse hated these things so much. She was even on her hate list.  
  
"Neutranurse..." she closed her eyes and let out a small cry. Never before had she seen Neutranurse like this. This was obviously a hidden side of her. She read some of the other entries that she had written. Mostly similar. It must be something to do with her Pregnancies. Neutranurse always got in a bad mood near the end. She stood up and walked back, the diary in hand. She neared the house when a yell was heard. She jogged up a little way and saw Neutranurse arguing with Sumillidon over the videophone, arguing about her getting Pregnant again and again. She was almost in tears.  
  
"What do you mean it's always my fault?!?"  
  
===================  
  
What do you think? Please read and review. 


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